Join the foreign guy’s adventure

Canada report # 35

2007-08-03T09:29:00.000-07:00

I have never been a big fan of drive through. Eating meal with a friend is bigger of a deal for me then for most of Canadians.
Last week Rusty and I made an exception to our rules and went through the drive through.
First of all, if you are as good of a driver as I am, stopping close enough to the ordering window is a challenge in itself. But once I made it there this noise spoke to me saying either “Welcome to TimHorton’s; can I take your order?” or “One moment please”. You might think that these two sentences are distinct enough that one will not be sitting there in a car pondering which one was just said to him, well think again. Then the speaker buzzed again. This time I could actually understand, “what can I get for you today?’
(It always freaked me out that I don’t know how they know that I am there waiting for them, but some other time about that.)
I gave my order and was very proud of myself for messing up the selection only once. You might think that one will not try to order Wendy’s sandwich at TimHortons, well think again.
Anyhow the funny part begun when I had to pay for it. You see, Rusty is a good but very low car. Most of the drives through windows in Alberta are built for vans and trucks. But my rusty’s antenna hardly reaches the window. So her I am, looking like a midget in the furniture store. For a while it seemed that girl will tip over the windowsill as she was trying to give me my order. When it came to paying it was even funnier. I had to step out of the car to give her money, but I am too close to open the door. Anyhow, simple visit to drive though turned into this exercise of gymnastics.
Who said that donuts are bad for you?

Music From Home

2007-07-05T19:28:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys, this is my favorite band from home. And this video is awesome too. I hope you like!

Lucky Toronto

2007-07-03T21:48:00.001-07:00

Today I was reading a book and found a quote that was amazing. And then I thought of somebody I wanted to share it with. Unfortunately my friend had moved to Toronto couple moth ago. I think she would like it, but now we can’t talk about it. Sad!
Anyhow, in case if she does read it, here it is:
“Loneliness was no longer something new or frightening-just another aspect of life that, once identified, seemed to disappear.”
I wish I could tell her how true it is becoming in my life.

Foreign guy becomes a God-father

2007-07-01T08:45:00.000-07:00

It is great to realize that there are still people that are thinking of you even though you haven’t seen them for 2 years.

My good friends back home had a baby and they asked me to be his God father.
It is like family, only you know that these members of the family chose you and were not stuck with you against their will.
Look at this baby or part of him (I wasn’t sure if he wants to be seen in Internet just yet)! His name is Jacob and foreign guy is his God father.

Welcom to the world - Jacob!

Canada report # 34

2007-06-30T13:56:00.001-07:00

We were driving out to Carter’s parents campground another day. As we were driving I started to think about something seemingly insignificant yet somehow profound: Texas Gates.
I think that whoever invented those was a very brilliant man (or a woman, but I doubt that). It is a simple yet very clever invention. Cows can’t cross it, yet cars can. Can you imagine that there are people who can find solutions to simple things like that? He is probably dead, but his invention is used all over the north America. I wonder was his name Texas or was he from Texas.
P.S. The reason I said that I doubt that woman invented it is not because I think that they are incapable, they most defiantly are. It was more because of the specifics of the invention I tend to see that was more men project. But I might be wrong.

Canada report # 33

2007-06-18T22:02:00.001-07:00

Today I saw something that I had seen before but not to this extent. There is something about Canadian efficiency that just somehow does not work when it comes to road constriction.
I was driving today down the Deerfoot and all of a sudden all lines are being pushed into one. It took forever to get anywhere. And then I saw it. Giant machine was doing something to the road (probably paving it). I was captivated by this beast; however, I was not the only one who was captivated by this machine. At least 8 men in orange vests were standing there, chatting and looking how this machine is doing something.
Then I remembered the joke that went something like that: How many Canadians does it take to fix the road?

Canada report #32 (Haven’t done these for a while, have I)

2007-06-17T13:23:00.000-07:00

One thing that drives me insane in Canada is the way they communicate through silence. Where my people would talk loudly, slam the door, give a hug and do some more yelling latter, Canadians talk a lot through absence of words.
What is truly amazing though: I seem to be finally getting it. Another day my buddy and I were talking about something work related. I asked him a question, but he was quiet. A moth ago I would freak out and think that he is so disrespectful and mean, but that day I knew that he needs time to think about it and he will get back to me about it later.
I see it in the movies, at work, at school, and in the buss. Where my people would talk things through Canadians are talking through silence.

About building a grill, moving a bed and planning my own deportation

2007-06-15T22:40:00.000-07:00

Today Carter and Julie were moving into their new apartment. Boxes, chairs, couch and even a grill experienced the trill of their lives as they traveled across the city. We were joking, eating pica, working between brakes and in every way having a great time. Guys were putting together furniture; girls were unpacking cloth and dishes. At first Carter and I put together a dresser – piece of cake if you do it with “mister fix it” (and I don’t mean myself). Then Jeff and I tackled the grill – fun, fun, fun – however there was no gas so we don’t really know if we did it or not. But then all of us took on the computer desk. It was like putting together a jigsaw puzzle without knowing what it is suppose to look like at the end. Needles to say, at the end there were extra pieces left and bolts that never found their way into this colossal construction. At one point I was sitting on the floor by the window, drinking milk with coffee and thinking how badly I do not want to be deported. I want to see if Julie and Carter will have a happy home and if they will have decency to name their firstborn after me or not (I will even settle for a middle name). I want to be there when this dresser gets old and when grill runs out of gas again. Somehow this fear of me being kicked out of Canada became so real that I started to plan goodbye party in my head. (It will be a great party but some other time about that)
And then I wondered if Brendon will bring a box of my favourite root bear to my goodbye party. I hope he will.

I called it Cerinsh

2007-06-09T22:54:00.000-07:00

Clark was working in the garage and talking to me while I was sitting on the grass and resting from my morning run in the Fish Creak. It is hard to imagine Saturday morning that would be more perfect than that one. Sun was bright but not hot, wind was refreshing but not cold and everything else about that morning and that conversation was peaceful and serene.

Then Clark pointed to the lilac that was growing by our fence. We talked a little bit about its smell and whatever else there is to talk about lilacs. However, that made me think that most of my life I used to call this beautiful plant in other name. That other name somehow seemed more beautiful and precious. It is just a different combination of letters and sounds, yet somehow even though describing the same object it is different for me.

Latvian word for lilac made me think of the bushes growing in my mother’s garden, it made me think of my nieces that are digging through these bushes looking for 5 leaf blossom, believing that it is the lucky one. It made me think of my sister putting them in the vase and how smell of lilac is filling her apartment and mixing with the smell of her baking.

I miss calling things in other words. I miss home. Yet at the same time, as I was sitting on the grass by the garage and talking to Clark I felt more at home than ever before. Now English word for lilac will have a meaning for me. This meaning will be about the perfect Saturday morning. Morning when I was resting from my morning run and Clark was working in the garage.

Wedding Contemplation

2007-05-30T11:58:00.000-07:00

Couple weeks ago I was a groomsmen at my best buddy's wedding. There is something incredible when you are sitting at the head table. I was sitting there and thinking that of all people in that room they picked me to share that day with. I like being picked. You know what I was thinking when I was sitting there? I was sitting there and thinking about phys.ed. in elementary and high school.

Teacher would come and say we are going to play soccer today. When I heard it I felt sick. I knew what’s coming. There would be two captains; they would pick the kids that are faster, stronger and taller then me. Then I would end up picked because somebody had to pick me eventually. Soon I made habit to help with homework only to the kid that picked me. Soon they figured it out and I wasn’t picked last any more.

But here I was sitting at the head table. Carter and Julie did not pick me because I was stronger, taller, faster then rest of their friends. They did not pick me because I can help them with the home work. I still do not know why they picked me, but they did and I was honored to sit at that table.

Foreign guy and Rusty

2007-05-21T20:47:00.000-07:00

This is my buddy Rusty. He is fun to hang out with. He is the greatest car-friend one can have. If I forget to put on my seat belt he says, “Hey bucket-head put the belt on NOW!” In car it sounds more like – Bep, bep, bep. Sometimes he gently says to me, “What do you think I am electro station, turn the head lights off.” (Beep, bep, beeeep) But just another day he told me, “Hey you, pink android with mush instead of a processor, what are you leaving the keys in for?” (beep, beep, beep)
He is an awesome car friend to have, especially now, when my 2 best friends are gone for a honey moon. There is something not right when your two best friends get married, now every time one of them will be gone another one will drag along. But what can you do, life is not always a blubbery muffin.

California report #1

2007-04-26T07:49:00.000-07:00

Here I am in LA, California!
Traffic is crazy, weather is great, and it is a lot of fun. However, the best things Americans have came up with (After the declaration of independence) – CARPOOL LINE. It is the most amazing thing ever. People are stuck in the traffic, but you, simply because of your company, are flaying by like there is no tomorrow. Some people are using rubber inflatable people to create illusion of company, others are paying almost 400$ fine for driving there alone. But as for me, I have a company, which is the best thing in itself, and I am beating all these suckers. What could be better?

Big city after all!

2007-04-11T19:10:00.000-07:00

I am still not sure how exactly that happened, but I was standing on the street under the pouring rain waiting for the buss that is not going to come. Shortage of bus drivers or something of this kind suddenly made me realize that, what before was just 15 minutes ride in car now is 2 buses and a c-train away– a distance that is going to take me almost 5 hours to overcome. I was standing alone, miserable and wet. I could call Carter, but he is at the date, I could call Clark, but he is at home with stomach flu.
It was a long, long night. Some how, this city all of a sudden grew so big and so cold.
But on the bright side I had never been happier to crawl into my little basement – all wet, tired and miserable, 5 hours, 2 buses and a c-train later.

Perfect Sunday

2007-04-02T20:09:00.000-07:00

Some of them were playing a game in the kitchen somebody was napping in the living room; somebody else was reading a book in the rocking chair. Peace was so smoothing that I could do nothing else but soak it in with every pore of my restless mind. I was enjoying something that seemed to be just like every other Sunday afternoon for this family. We just got up from the table and decided that before having a dessert we’ll take a brake. I was hoping that it will be a nice cake. It was one of the girls birthday. I knew that there will be an ice-cream, this family seem to like ice-cream a lot. There was a “happy birthday” tune, ice-cream and cake. I had my tea and somehow everything seemed to be just perfect.
It was a perfect Sunday afternoon with lactose free cake and soy ice-cream. With a girl that can not have dairy, her husband, her sister, her husbands parents, her husbands’ brother, who also happened to be her sister fiancé and my best buddy. The perfect dairy free birthday party for a girl that does not know what the milk tastes like.
They didn’t seem to mind me being there. But what is even more surprising to me, I did not feel like I was invading.

P.S. Picture is completely unrelated, but funny!

I am back in Canada

2006-07-31T16:13:00.000-07:00

Yup I am back to the country of the Maple leave and into the province with no Maple trees whatsoever. Sometimes I feel guilty for loving Canada so much but then again I feel guilty every time I eat ice-cream.
But let me tell you about the one thing I do not feel guilty about. I do not feel guilty for enjoying the company of the bestest friends in the world.
With two of them I went hiking another day. Ones we got to Rockies it started to rain very badly and we got kind of lost. We hardly got out of the car; except just long enough for me to take this picture of them. Have you ever had friends with whom it is great to be together even when everything goes wrong? I would not traded this afternoon spend with them even for the very best planed vacation. Friends make life just a little bid more bearable, don’t you think.
Another day I was talking on the phone with one of my other friend in Toronto. As I was listening to her wrong opinion on the war in Lebanon, I realized that I love Canada not because of its money or nature or even climate. I love Canada because some of the very best people I have ever met live in the country of the Maple leave and in the province with no Maple trees whatsoever.

Sout Africa report # 16

2006-07-14T03:46:00.000-07:00

In 2 days I will be leaving South Africa. There is a saying that they kept repeating to me since the day I came. “When you will leave Africa your heart will remain here.”
It appears that this saying is true.
There will be many things I will miss from South Africa – People, culture, and nature. But let me tell you about the one thing that will be in my heart forever as long as I will think of this place. It is African sunrise.
Imagine early morning and as far as your eyes can see the horizon is stretching in front of you. All sky and ground and trees are coloured in all the shades of red. All nature seems to become suddenly quiet; noises of the night disappear in this sea of red. Animals and trees in total silence are anticipating this miracle of the new day. When you begin to think that it cannot become more red new shades of red paint heavens in the new thickness of scarlet. And then suddenly it appears. The disk of sun as big as horizon, bright yet gentle to your eyes, majestic and gigantic in its redness comes to bring a new beginning for all who are waiting for it while holding their breath. Now I understand why Egyptians worship this star and pharaoh started his day with the ritual of worship. When you look at African sun so powerful and glorious it is possible to confuse creation with its creator.
As soon as sun steps over the horizon heat waves start to elevate from the ground. Another moment and trees, antelopes and even flies will start the run of a new day. But this one moment just before the nature comes to life is the spirit of Africa and that is what I want to remember about this place.

South Africa report # 15

2006-07-13T05:33:00.000-07:00

Sometimes things happen that are worthy of sit-com. This story is almost too funny to be true.But first let me apologise fo my spelling, this computer did not have a spell check.I am known in this area as a foreigner who likes to learn and participate in cultural traditions and ceremonies.One day I was invited to go to visit a village not far from the one I am staying at.There I met this man and we were sitting in his hut and tolking about the local traditions and life. Eating traditional African food - microwaived Pica. But let me tell you about this initiation ceremony which I did not know about when I was tolking to this man.At the age of 14-17 young men are led to the forest (they call it bushes) and there they are being tested, phisicly abused and humiliated to make them stronger and at the end of this they get sircumsised right there in the bushes. One of the 5 men usualy dies of infection and never comes back. But house who do are considered to be a men. Local people call this "going into the bushes". I did not know about this ceremnoy at the time when I was talking to this African man. So we are sitting at his house and he is telling me about the Africa I am telling him about the things I experienced so far.Then he askes me, "Have you been in the bushes?"I am thinking that he is refering to some kind of walk in the forest so I say, "Oh yes, several times!"Man looks at me funny and says, "Oh I know, my son wasn't able to do it with the first time either, only with his second time he managed to do it."Now I am thinking what so dificult about the walk in the bushes."I loved it," I say to that man, "In fact I am planing to go there again in a week or so!"Now the man is confused. He is thinking about going into the bushes and be sircumsised. How can this white guy like it?"When did you go into the bushes?" he asks me."A couple of days ago," I said to him."Are you in pain?" he asks me again."A little bit sore, but other than that I am ok," I am referingto my blisters.Now the man looks at me like I am not saying the truth.At this point the friend of mine who took me to this man is laughing so hard I was getting woried about his life.He said something in local language and the old man started to laugh as well.Only on our way home he explained to me what was going on.I was thinking but what if in stead of asking if I have been there he would ofer me to go into the bushes and I would say yes becasue of my ignorance.

South Africa report # 14

2006-06-26T01:42:00.000-07:00

This is not going to be a funny one. There is Aids in Africa. We all know that. But you can not imagine what it is like, my friends. I was invited to attend a memorial event for Aids victims in Police forces. Besides the fact that it started one hour latter than it was suppose to (everything is late in Africa) nothing else was normal to me. They said that almost 40% of population in South Africa are sick with it. 4 out of 10 people have an incurable sickness from which they will die within 1 to 15 years. Every family lost someone to Aids, have someone sick or knows someone who is sick. Government is paying money to make a kind of encouraging ads on national television that state “There is life with AIDS”. On these commercials they show people who say that they are sick but still continued their education and career. Schools are giving condoms out as crazy and have all the sex Ed possible. But they say that in schools that did not give out condoms are just as many cases of Aids and teenage pregnancies as in the schools that did. Wherever you go people do not know what to do with it and how to stop. But South Africa is not as bad, in Uganda couple years ago there was 70% of population infected. Can you imagine what it is like to live in the country were health is a minority.

South African report # 13

2006-06-21T03:27:00.000-07:00

Some of you will think that this is a stupid or inappropriate log, but I will still say it. So, if you think Africa you think hot, when you think hot you think shorts when you think shorts you think legs, (Well, maybe you don’t, but bear with me). So I noticed that I am more popular when I wear shorts. At first I was puzzled why that is. Until one day one of the African children started to touch my legs. In a kind of funny way (you now like you pat a cat). Then he calls his friends over and they start touching my legs. I freak out! It turns out that they have never seen anyone with hairy legs. My legs are not super hairy (At least that is what I am trying to convince myself about), but there is no hair on African legs in my village.
No I am scared to wear shorts because who knows what will happen if women in the village will find out that it is possible to touch white men’s legs. What should I do?

South African report # 12

2006-06-07T04:15:00.000-07:00

I came back from Cape Town another day. It is quite a city! Right now in South Africa they have a power crisis. There is not enough electricity for everyone (sorry for my oversimplification). Couple moth ago there was black out and City was dark for couple of days. Couple infants died in the hospital and such. No government is busy deciding where to get extra electricity for growing city. But meanwhile they started the program called “cape power alert”. Every 15 minutes on TV and radio report comes on power problem. If the usage of electricity is rising they are asking people to turn unnecessary appliances of. And people do. Letter they say it is say to turn things back and people do. (I wonder if somebody turns the TV of as unnecessary thing how he will know when it is Ok to turn things back on.) Another thing that they do is they encourage people to use gas stoves over electrical once. People bought a lot of them but now turn out that there is no gas in the country and people do not know what to do with their gas stoves. So government has another problem to deal with – more unhappy people.
I experienced two of these black out. I had fun, but I guess there are more responsible people in Africa than I.

South Africa report # 11

2006-05-29T03:41:00.000-07:00

South Africa has large shortage in living space. People can not afford to build or by homes. So Government builds these subsidized villages (see pictures). One house has one room little kitchen and bathroom. Looks just like little box. Imagine what it looks like when there are whole bunch of them together. It is cheap and it takes just a month to build village for almost 1000 families to live in. They look so sad, but I guess it is better then living in the paper box. People get these houses very cheep and then they start to expand on them in couple years they would build another bedroom and then another and another one. It looks even worse, but people must live somewhere. My mind says it is good that government is taking care of its people. But when I visit one of those villages, I feel something is wrong. Of cause only color people live in them. Places are falling apart, dirty, cheep, and people are so desperate. It reminds me of some kind of ghetto. Far from the “civilized” people and somehow dehumanizing. No wanders that hardly anyone of them goes to college and gets decent job. I can not tell why but somehow it does not seem right.

African dog report

2006-05-25T05:36:00.000-07:00

Let me tell you about the Lucy!

She lives in the same house I do. Couple month ago she was hit by the car. She recovered, but one part of her body was left paralyzed. Guess which part? TAIL! It is horrible for the dog. She had nice curly tail, but now it is dragging behind her like a dead fish, it is very sad. She is such a happy dog though. When ever I come home she jumps around and is so happy, but not her tail, it is almost funny. She does not have any feeling in it as well. Some times she is chasing her dead tail and when she does catch it she does not know that she is baiting herself and we need to stop her before she starts bleeding. It is funny and sad at the same time.
She loves to cuddle with me on the couch as I read and I think that she is my best friend in Africa. It does gets kind of lonely, but I have Lucy.

South Africa report # 10

2006-05-20T01:38:00.000-07:00

I am not picky about the food, am I? I am willing to try new things and usually at least I will say that I liked it. For example when I came to Canada my friends from college took me to the food court and made me try Greek food. I tried lamb and said it was ok. I had no intentions to eat it again, it was just Ok.
Now I came to South Africa and the very fist meal that is served is LAMB. Which is ok I can finish it. But to my terror very soon I realized that pretending that you liked something can have very sad consequences. Cook lady said, “oh usually foreigners do not like lamb! You will feel here at home we eat lamb a lot.” And they do. At least 2 a week they give me the biggest piece of lamb, I had no idea the sheep can grow so big. When they cook other meat they add some lamb to it just for the flavor. Now I eat chicken that tastes like lamb, pork that tastes like lamb fish that tastes like lamb and even porridge that tastes like lamb. Sometimes I come from work and I can smell it for blocks away that something is gone taste lake lamb today (in African village there are no such things as blocks but you know what I mean, don’t you). Last night we went to town for diner. You will not believe how glad a person can be to see KFC sign on horizon.

P.S. When the cook saw me taking picture of the lamb package she smiled, I have a bad feeling about that smile.

South Africa report # 9

2006-05-17T02:48:00.000-07:00

This is very sad day in the history of my Africa experience. On the picture you can see my last teabag. I ran out of my tea. Yes I do travel with my tea, so what. Local people tell a joke about me here. What do you call man who travels with his own tea? – Teapot! And then they all laugh like they missed it first 10 times somebody said that. I am not getting depressed yet. In the town 2 hours drive from my village there is a store and rumor has it that they have my tee there. If it is true Africa will become livable once again. But for now I have to exist with things that locals call tea, but in truth it is a teabag with mud in it.
When I was leaving Canada, my best buddy told me, “Foreign guy, I know that your are a cheap man, probably because of your Scottish blood, here take some money and once you in Africa buy something for your self.” This is what I am going to spend your money for, my friend.

South Africa report # 8

2006-05-17T02:36:00.000-07:00

Mother Day in Africa is also a big deal. I went to Africa church and there all but me were black which is ok. One of the things that know must know about Churches in Africa is that when they greet each other they kiss (when I say kiss I mean on the lips) with a big chmok. It does not matter if you are women or men they just kiss each other. If you are a stranger they would greet you with a hand shake (works for me). But not on mother’s day. Speaker says something in Afrikaans and I do not know what. All of a sudden everybody in the congregation gets up and starts to kiss each other. So I am up and I realize that I am being kissed by all the women in the congregation. They would just grab me and chmok me on the lips. I wish you could see that. Me poor Foreign_guy trying to figure out what is going on and why is everybody kissing and why me and when is that going to stop. Later I found out that speaker said that we should congratulate woman with this special day. And woman should congratulate children. I was trying to figure out was I kissed as a mother, or as a son or did they just used the opportunity to kiss me because I had no clue what was going on.
Needles to say that I was kissed for at least a dozen big mamas.
What is ironic in all this is that I hold a non kissing principle before engagement. My girlfriend never got a kiss but all there mammas from African church did. Life is funny that way isn’t it?
You can see on the picture some of those lucky women.

South Africa report # 7

2006-05-12T07:14:00.000-07:00

I was being a tourist another day; Walking through the town enjoying scenery. Then I ran in to this sign (see picture). My first thought was, “I wonder what does the word ‘Dissuades’ means?” Due to the great invention of context I figured it out. Then my next though was, “now when I think that I know what it means I do want to go pass it so bad.” Wouldn’t you want to know why this town would discourage its guests to use this path? Of cause I went. This was the most beautiful walk I had in this country so far. Steep cliff and a very wild nature, this path lead to the place where locals do their fishing. Needles to say that forbidden fruit is delicious and that it feels so nice to trick yourself in to believing that you are adventurous type.
Later when I talk to my local friends about that, they were shock. It turned out that these signs they put in the places were tourist are being attacked and were town is failing to stop the crime. So I guess I was adventurous after all.

South Africa report # 6

2006-05-12T07:06:00.000-07:00

Before you go on reading look at the picture and tell me what do you think people are doing there?
I was helping in a little building project another day. And this is the way they mix cement in South Africa; right in the middle of the driveway. They would bring sand and rocks and cement and than make a little lake of water in it and then start mixing. It was fun to see for the trick is not to let water run and at the same time mix it well.
Very impressive!!!

South Africa report # 5

2006-05-08T02:07:00.000-07:00

We were playing Uno another day with bunch of African children. In the room next to ours somebody put on loud and rhythmical music. I wish you could see what happened. All kids jumped up. They ran to that room. Started to dance, sing, clap and enjoy themselves. There are not too many things that are more beautiful than African children dancing. I was amazed that all Africans I met have most amazing singing voices and the way they dance is just amazing. Wonder how that happens that some peoples are more gifted in certain areas.

South Africa report # 4

2006-05-08T02:04:00.000-07:00

During my 10 days in South Africa I managed to meet quite a few people. One thing that kind of struck me was the fact all of the families I met are dysfunctional. All families have either children out of wedlock, or have children from previous marriages or children are being razed by grand parents. People are not embarrassed to talk about it. At the first visit with the family I am learning who is whose biological father and how old were their children when parents finally married. For some reason I was under impression that divorce and other family problems is western sickness, but I guess I was wrong. Even the poorest people are going through that.

South Africa report # 3

2006-05-02T08:40:00.000-07:00

I am not a communist! Just so you know, but during my time in South Africa I wonder why.
On the same street there are the most expensive houses with swimming pool and 8 car garage. But across the street there are people who live in shack of cardboard and as much as I can tell they are not lazy or anything but they are black and the man with 8 cars is white. May be I am not getting something. But it just makes me so sad. I could never be tourist in this country. How could one enjoy his vacation and see all these hungry children. My chicken would stuck in my throat.
I am still not a communist but wouldn’t it make so much sense to make them all share. What do you think?

South Africa report # 2

2006-05-02T08:23:00.000-07:00

So I am taking a shower another day. (Yes people in Africa do have showers) And all of a sudden this humongous spider crawls in. I wish you could see me, I the most intelligent ForenGuy fighting this beast of hell trying not to slip and kill myself. After I regained my privacy I was standing there half crying half laughing. Who came up with the idea that traveling is fun????
Poor spider probably wasn’t even piousness, but do you think I am going to take a chance?

South Africa report # 1

2006-04-29T04:50:00.000-07:00

So we are driving in the car. All of the sudden this little black cloud of something hits the windshield. It turns out that that was African bees migrating and we hit like trizilon of them. The entire windshield is covered in honey, it smells great, but nothing can clean it even the windshield wipers and liquid. So we are driving with this honey covered windshield that you can hardly see through. I am acting cool (even though I am freaking out) but everybody else in the car thinks that that is not a big deal.
And this is just one of the many things that happen in first day when I had to play cool.

Germany report # 1

2006-04-29T04:41:00.000-07:00

10 things to do if you are stuck for 9 hours in the Frankfurt airport on your way to South Africa

1. Have as much tee as you can and every time you must use a washroom find a new one, see how soon you will run out of the washrooms.
2. Start timing yourself and see how much time does it takes to find a washroom you haven’t used yet.
3. Find all similarities between Euro bill and Monopoly money.
4. Sit where you can see planes going up and try to guess if this one is gona make it.
5. Put your MP3 player on random and promises yourself a most expensive ice-cream every time when you guess the next song (highly improbable)
6. Find a Muslim man with 7 wifes eating lunch and try to see their faces as they eat.
7. Run away from the Muslim man chasing you with a chair.
8. Think of all the places where it would be worse to be right now.
9. Come up with adjectives for word boredom.
10. Come up with 10 things to do if you are stuck for 9 hours in the Frankfurt airport on your way to South Africa

Canada report # 31

2006-04-25T11:05:00.000-07:00

Did you know that the most effective advertisement is the advertisement in public washrooms? Canadians do know that. Today I went to the mall to get some things for my South Africa trip. I went to use a washroom and there was a little screen above every urinal and sink and hand dryer. On these screens there were commercials going with cool music and all. It is so hard to find a place in Canada where you are not being persuaded to by something. Even a bathroom is not a safe place anymore. But then again Canadians do get a point for being creative and smart in doing their business. This is why they are doing so well.

Canada report # 30

2006-04-19T10:25:00.000-07:00

I was driving through the mountains another day. It was great. But then I saw a sign that said, “Avalanche area; drive with caution.” I was thinking what kind of cautious driving do I need to exercise to go save through this dangerous area. Should I drive as quiet as I can? Do I need to drive as fast as I can, to shorten the time of my presence in this area and therefore limit the opportunity of being hit? Or may be just the knowledge that now I am in the dangerous spot will enrich my traveling experience.
Anyhow I cam back save, I guess we did drive with caution and did not case any avalanche.

Canada report # 29

2006-04-16T17:53:00.000-07:00

This weekend I was privileged to spend with some new friends of mine. As the host was making the bed for me I noticed the skin of the animal on the floor (see picture). I though it is some kind of a black fox or something, but very big. So I made a joke, “Hey this looks like e dog!” “It IS a dog,” my host answered.
It turns out that they had a pet dog, which they liked a lot. It was very old so they shot him and kept its skin as a memory.
As I was laying that night in the darkness, with the skin of the dog by my bed, I realized that the day when I will think that I have seen it all in Canada, I will be so wrong.

Canadian report # 28

2006-04-13T15:37:00.000-07:00

Things do not appear the way they are!
Even though I have been in this country for almost 2 years I still have a hard time figuring those Canadians out.

when they are really glad to see you and when they are just being nice
when they really want to help you out when you ask them and when they just feel bad saying no
when they ask you “how are you” when do they really care when is it just an expression
when they act all cool and confident but really are lonely and desperate for help
when they are joking and when they are serious

Some how when you grow up with people you learn to read them better. Not that people on my planet are not confusing some how their confusiness makes more sense than Canadian confusiness

Canada report # 27

2006-04-11T15:54:00.000-07:00

Canada still holds for me a lot of mysteries. Let me illustrate one of them for you.
Canadians get some interesting holidays one of them is Labor Day. Schools are closed people can get a day of. This is Ok. Then comes the Easter. You would think that Christian college will get an Easter weekend of. But no; I need to work on Saturday and my exam is on Easter Monday. All my Easter holiday plans are dead and I am bitter. By the way I am sorry for my bitterness. I know that Easter is not about me getting the day of, but still I am upset.

“I miss you” report # 2

2006-04-06T17:42:00.000-07:00

It was raining yesterday. I was walking down town and I realized how much I miss it. I miss thunders in the May. I miss puddles with bubbles of the size of an apple. I miss running barefoot under the poring rain and yelling my guts out knowing that because of this rain nobody will hear me. I miss looking out of the window and not being able to see anything but water that is running down the glass. I miss my wet and soggy homeland. I miss triple rainbows over my parents’ house and freshness of the lilac after the rain. If you live in the semi desert you start to miss things like that.

Canada report # 26

2006-04-03T15:49:00.000-07:00

I watched Canadian traveling show last night. And I realized one great truth about this country. Meals are very special.
This man on the show was talking about this great city and first thing he started with was information about the location of some great places to eat - mo museums, no parks or Zoos but restaurants.
Before coming to this planet my friends and I would just grab supper before we get together for something fun, but now I am learning how great it is to shear a meal together with my friends. Canadians eat out more, invite each other over and they still know how to enjoy slow and peaceful lunch or dinner. There are some families who will not answer the phone during the dinner.
I am not saying that restaurants are more important than some culture stuff but it is great to be in the community that values time of table fellowship.

Canada report # 25

2006-04-01T12:22:00.000-08:00

Foreign guy is going to see a dentist

Volume # 2

She was short, very short. When the nurse talked to me she would look in to my chest. And I am not a tall person. Then it began. She had to take my x-rays. I had to be standing up and she had to put something in my mouth. All my energy went in to preventing the outburst of laughter. She would reach up, I would bend down, then she would tell me to stand up still and then she would try to reach me again. It was very comical. It turned out that some of my x-rays did not worked, so we did it again. And then they left me. “Doctor will be back soon,” she said. But doctor wasn’t back soon. So, I took a nap.
Somehow all this experience is a lot of waiting. And not just in waiting area but in actual dentist’s chair. One would think they would try to keep you away from that torturing device, but they don’t.
For Canadians it seems normal, but I wish they would know that there are so many different ways to do all that. Not necessarily better just different.
My brain somehow suppressed actual drilling moments. And probably it is a good thing, but my biggest surprise was still ahead of me after the doctor said, “Well, we are done for today.”

- To be continued -

Canada report # 24

2006-03-30T20:11:00.000-08:00

Today I was exposed to Canadian dentistry!
Volume # 1
You can not imagine what an incredible experience it is. First of all there is no open space for at least couple weeks. (You might think that either all Canadians have bad teeth or no one wants to be a dentist) But once you do get an appointment first 15 minutes of it you spend filling in the forms. They ask about everything, my personal favorite is: Do you grind you teeth at night? I guess only Canadians can take notice of what they do when they are unconscious. Then next 15 minutes you spend unswerving some question that dentist’s assistant has for you. After 3 questions you realize that you have heard these questions some were, but were? After 3 more questions you realize that these are the questions from the form that you just filed in. At first you think that she can not read, but then you also notice that she is taking some notes, so she can read? I guess Canadian dentist want to absolutely sure that I am not afraid of needles.
Then the doctor walks in and sits down. She picks up your form and the notes that the nurse just took. She looks at me and says, “Are you allergic to any medication?” You gone be kidding? I think to myself. But she is a doctor she knows what she is doing. Next 15 minutes you feel like you either are an idiot or you are on some secret camera comedy show. Finally the question and answer time is over and you think that now you will be asked to open your mouth and she will fix you. But not in Canada!!!!

- To be continued -

I love these things

2006-03-28T16:22:00.000-08:00

They are not quite birds but there is no better way to describe them.
They live where it is cold but appear so cute and warm.
There is no way I can grasp how they get they chicks to hatch.
Penguins’ sex is another mystery to me.
They migration pattern are wild and bizarre, but they seem to get were they need to.
They are my favorite birds probably it is because they are so crazy, and I am ok with they craziness.

I do not understand my God, the more I study Him the more He reminds me of penguins.
Somehow this time the mystery is not Ok.

Dress up Tuesday

2006-03-28T16:10:00.000-08:00

Every Tuesday I try to wear a tie. And today was the first day when finally no one made a comment about it. I guess people just got used to this foreigner who likes to wear a tie. I wonder; what do they think about me? Probably they think that I am weird, which I probably am. But well, tell somebody who cares.

Foreign_guy is going to Africa!!

2006-03-21T19:36:00.000-08:00

Just an update for my summer plans! This summer April 26 – August 28 I will be gone for my practicum in South Africa. Little place called Pletttenberg Bay will become my new home for next 4 mouth.
If you are tired of my Canada reports very soon you will start hearing some South Africa reports. Here are some pictures for you to see what I am getting myself into.

To beget or not to beget that is the question

2006-03-16T19:04:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I went to the walk in clinic to get my tetanus shot update. There were a lot of sick people but there was this one very little baby with some kind of very ugly eye infection (he just looked nasty). This is what I was thinking -
* It must be very hard to see your child suffer.
* I am so not ready to be a dad.
* I wonder, “Why don’t we appear already grownups?”
* I need to thank my mother once again (when I was little I used to puke a lot)
* One of my friend’s wife is pregnant – pore people.
* No I am so not ready to be a dad.

Easy

2006-03-10T14:58:00.000-08:00

I think that some things are easier than they appear. The tricky part is to decide which ones. Today I was told that it is going to be OK. It sounds so good, doesn’t it?
Have a great day guys.

This is my question of the day?

2006-03-07T09:54:00.000-08:00

How can you tell if a girl likes you?
I am totally oblivious in those tings. Last night my friends were teasing my face of about this girl that supposable likes me, but did I have a clue? No! “She is just nice”, I said.
Yet when I am convinced that there is a girl that likes me all I get is, “You are a nice guy, but let’s just be friends.” I hate that, hate, hate, hate that!!!
Why does it need to be so difficult!
Anyhow, my conclusion of the day is this.
I should stop being friendly then they will not want to be my friends because so far what ever I am doing is not working. So, prepare to meet new grumpy and unfriendly Foreign_guy.

February 26, 2006

2006-02-26T18:28:00.000-08:00

Today during one of my evening walks in the Fish Creek I ran into the house that still had a Christmas lights on. I even took a picture of it.

Canada report # 23

2006-02-22T17:50:00.000-08:00

I was walking from train station, it was cold, windy and it was snowing (yucky would be a good word). In the midst of all of that there was a man shoveling snow. He was wearing shorts, which I found weird, but whatever, I was on my way to Tim Horton’s to read a book. An hour latter I went for my buss stop and here he was still shoveling snow. By now he must have shoveled almost a kilometer of sidewalks. I was impressed. He was coming closer and closer to my buss stop; all people were watching him work. Eventually he was working around our buss stop. One lady said to this man in shorts, “In days like that it must be hard to like your job?” He stopped just for a second, “it is not my job I am doing it as a service to Jesus. He said let you light shine and this is my way of doing it.” Only then I noticed that he had a big, red cross on his jacket. He said couple other words and went back to his business like it was the most natural thing to do. My buss came in ten minutes; when I was leaving I still saw him shoveling snow, in shorts and with the cross on his jacket.
Some how a volunteer shoveling public side walks is not a popular picture of Christian. Is it because this man was not accurate picture of what Jesus intended His people to be? Is it because we are not what we are supposed to be anymore? I don’t know.

Canada report # 22

2006-02-14T14:25:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it is amazing how much you can do during the day if you do stuff without getting out of the car. Canadians have drive through banking, drive through food, drive through groceries and drive through car wash. But if you are very busy it turns out that they even have drive through flu shots drive through weddings and even drive through viewing of the dead relatives (speaking of being busy, eh).
Who wants to spend time for socializing during the meal and weddings? It is more important to save time for more important things. When I figure out those more important things I will let you know.

“I miss you” report # 1

2006-02-09T19:44:00.000-08:00

This is a bridge in my home town. I had to cross it every time I went to Church and every time I went to visit my mom at work. Sometimes we would stop on the bridge on our way home from church with bunch of my friends; we would talk and just have fun. I miss places and memories like that. What am I doing here? Sometimes I think coming to Canada was a mistake.
But tomorrow is Friday and it will be all good again. C&J&L an I will finish watching Star Wars then we will eat diner and we will do dishes together and have a cup of tee.

Calgary report # 21

2006-02-08T09:36:00.000-08:00

On my way to collage there is this very cool hill. My C-train goes right through it. What makes it cool is that this hill is a cemetery hill. Every time I enter this tunnel (well every time I remember to think about it) I fell like I am going in to the kingdom of dead. I imagine that there are dead bodies not underneath me but above me. Isn’t it spooky? I like little things about life like that; they just make me more alive.

Have a great week guys!

Canada report # 20

2006-01-20T12:42:00.000-08:00

So I am sitting in my class today and one girl in front of me takes out her lip cream and uses it, but after she is done she wipes her hand in to her chair. She is not the only one! Sometimes they wipe their hands into their pants (which is better) but when pour innocent furniture suffers it just breaks my heart. Can you imagine being a couch, divan sofa, chesterfield or whatever and they sit on you and than wipe their orange juice, their buggers, their chips leftovers or what ever there are consuming into your face (while they are still sitting on your face)?

Save the furniture and don’t be a helicopter!

P.S. Doesn’t make sense does it?

Canada report # 19

2006-01-19T11:35:00.000-08:00

To be a Canadian one must be a genius!!!
This is what I am expected to remember and if you know me at all you know that numbers and me do not mix. (or is it "numbers and I"?)

1. Pin code of my debit card
2. Pin code of my second debit card (home land one)
3. My cell phone number
4. My home phone number
5. My home address
6. Home alarm code
7. Coop number
8. Student ID number
9. College locker number and combination lock
10. Gym locker number and combination lock
11. Date and day of the week
12. Birthdays of my friends and family
And there are much more that people are expecting me to remember. I have a friend who can tell you most of the phone numbers in his address book, he is a genius.
I do not think that I qualify to be Canadian! How do you guys do that?
Out of this entire list above I know only 2 numbers – guess which two and I will give you dollar.

Canadians are amazing people!!!!

Foreign guy’s secret identity

2006-01-14T11:07:00.000-08:00

My mother taught me the love for stars
My father taught me not to like soccer
My sister made me fall in love with elephants
Because of my brother I studied computers
Andzhejs (my friend from camp) made me love recorder
Because of Tonijs & Janis (my roommates from university) I dislike smoking girls.
Because of Luis (friend from Oregon) I always try to sit on the very back of the buss and prefer pocket watch over wristwatch.
Because of David from Abbotsford I wear only white socks
Because of Carter I learned to love orange juice, pajamas and playing cards
Because of Julie I am learning to enjoy cleaning my room
Because of Whitcombs family I dislike dirty dishes in the sink.
Because of McPhail family I will always keep my home open fro foreigners and strangers
Because of Story family from Denmark I believe in wise women
Because of Mara I want to learn to listen
Because of Professor Knudson I respect Lutherans
I was thinking is there anything that is truly me but not just somebody who likes things because people I love like them.
This is the thing that I like for no reason – red color. This is the thing that I dislike for not reason – germs.

Isn’t it sad that I am formed out of other people’s likes and dislikes?

Or is it normal?

Canada report # 18

2006-01-11T19:36:00.000-08:00

Today I had very North American experience. At work we have a Polish janitor. He speaks practically no English at all. Usually he just walks by and says hi. But today for some reason we started to talk. It was like playing charades. He decided to tell me how he escaped Soviet Union. He used sounds, mimics, body language and other creative means to tell his stories. He played out something like little sketches for me. He told me all the times he crossed border and how he managed to do that. He would involve me too. Some times I would play the part of police officer, sometimes I would play part of ambassador of Canada in Poland. It was a lot of fun. Only for some reason he would not believe me when I said (or tried to say) that I understand, so every story we had to act out at least 3 times. By the end I was yelling, “Yes I understand, just move on already!” I was amazed how much we could communicate; I think that this is his normal language. He lived in Canada for 14 years and still hasn’t learned English. I think he had a choice to learn English or to became very good at charades, it seems that he chose the charades. I wonder how did people explain him his Job Description or how did he got this job to beguine with.

Canada – truly the country of great opportunities.

P.S.
By the way I will give you a dollar if you will guess who this guy below is (tell me the show he is in)!!!

Self Destruction Button for Christ

2006-01-10T14:18:00.000-08:00

Today one of my classmates told that he wishes that he would have a “self destruction button for Christ”.
I liked it. I think it is great to be able to live it all for God.
I wish I could do it.
I wish I could know how.
I wish He would be more real in my life.
I wish people could tell that I am passionate about Him.
I wish that He would do great things through me.
I wish God would use me.

For Once I Came Up With Something Profound

2006-01-09T20:06:00.000-08:00

When we make mistakes we blame circumstances or something outside of us that made us do what we did. But if somebody else does something stupid we blame person’s character. When my friend is not talking to me and acts grumpy I think, “What a jerk, party pooper and selfish person he can sometimes be.” But when I act the same way I am like, “If only the universe would know what I am going through they would all be sorry for me. I wish I could be merrier, but my life is so horrible that I just want to die!” (see what kind of a drama queen I can be)
Or when somebody yells at his children in the mall we think that this is very angry and mean person what a miserable life these pour kids must of have. But when we yell to our kids (not that I have any, but when I will I will probably yell at them), we think that we have the worst kids ever, they just drive us nuts and I am saint just for not strangling them in that mall.
The moral of all that is this:
1) spend more time trying to understand others
2) do not assume that everyone understand you

The End

Log about nothing

2006-01-08T13:42:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite English words is WHATSOEVER!

I do not have a reason for it, whatsoever. I just like the way it sounds. Actually it does not mean anything whatsoever either. It is just the some word to put in when you have nothing to say whatsoever or when you want to emphasize something.
When you use it too much it is almost if you would not use at all whatsoever.
Ok, you got the point!

Canada report # 17 (well it is more Calgary report)

2006-01-03T22:11:00.000-08:00

It seems that I am not the only confused person in this city. Starting middle of November birds go nuts in this country. Every day you can lift up your eyes and you will see group of birds (in big V). They fly in all possible directions and they never stop. Now it is beginning of January and there were still many of them. You would think that by now they would make it to where ever they are going. But no they are still on the way. In a month or so they will calm down for a week or so and then all over only backwards. All possible direction until almost middle of summer. Go figure, eh?

Story about the boy by Foreign_guy

2006-01-02T14:11:00.000-08:00

Once-upon a time there was a boy. When he was a teenager his father told him that he will never have a friend. “I never had a friend myself and neither will you. No one in our family is build for friendships. We were built for helping the world with cataclysmic events like world hunger and wars. And we are meant to be loners.” The boy did not know what are the cataclysmic events (and especially world hunger and wars), but he desperately wanted to have a friend. He dreamed about friendship similar to what David and Jonathan had.
At first he wanted to prove his father that he was capable of being a good friend. But soon it became and obsession. He was ready to please his friends, do for them all he could. He simply wanted to be the best friend for somebody, even if that meant to be somebody else.
Curse of his father was following him were ever he went. Some days he believed that his father was right. He wondered why anyone would want to be with him at all. Then he tried to solve problems of worlds hunger and wars, but he failed at that as well.
So now he is out there some were looking for somebody who would help him to break the curse of his father, and call him best friend.

I think there are so many people around as who are like this boy. We want to belong to something. It is something that you can count on and be sure that you will be there for somebody to help and support. I think that we do not need help, more than that we want to be the help for somebody else. We want to feel like we are needed and that there is somebody in the world who is happy that we are around. But maybe it is not just any random person, may be we want that our friend would need as just as much we need him. Today I did not treat my friend the way I was supposed to. Knowing him he probably won’t care. But in the days like this I fell like boy from this story that desperately is trying to break the curse of his father, but somehow keeps stumbling back into it.

Thunder Bay report Day # 4

2005-12-29T20:03:00.001-08:00

Another interesting experience in Canada! We went to this place (I do not know how to call it) that had only 4 items on the menu. 3 polish people over retirement age were working hard there. Place was packed. However my today’s log has nothing to do with that. Later we went to see Chronicles of Narnia – good movie but this is not about it either. I have the best friends in the world by the way, but this is not about them us well.
I made a New Years resolution. But you know what I will not tell you about it just yet.
Tomorrow is a big day. Julie said that she received plan from higher beings, I am exited (even though I have my suspicions that she was talking about her parents upstairs).
My mission of the next morning is to make sure that Carter gets up on time for us to go.

Thunder Bay report Day # 3

2005-12-28T18:43:00.000-08:00

Have you ever noticed how people are introduced to each other? First you say a name of a person and then usually you say something about this person. For example: this is Mike, I know him from college; this is John, he is a doctor in the crazy house; this is Alice, she is my girlfriend. What they say about you is what they think about you as something that tells who you are. This week I have been introduced to at least 17 people most often they say, “Hey, this is Dennis, he is from Latvia”. They do not say this is my friend or this is photo model I know, this is my buddy from college, or this is somebody who just would not leave or this is the foreigner who does our dishes (just like in Hollywood). I want to be known as more then just this exotic thing with goofy accent. But hey this is life at least they keep me around I should not complain.
P. S. I could tell you a lot about all the things we did and places we visited, but there are so many of them I would not bother anybody with that. This I found to be more interesting.

Thunder Bay report Day # 2

2005-12-28T07:18:00.000-08:00

How many relatives and friends can one meet without going insane? Ask me on Sunday (assuming I will still have my sanity). So far we are at 13 and I love them all. My favorite ever so far is Mitch (I wish I would now how to spell cousin or kosin or casin) . We played risk with him another day he was awesome.

Thunder Bay report Day # 1

2005-12-27T08:15:00.000-08:00

I am still in awe about the expanse of Canada. I was in a plane for two hours and I am still in the same country. It feels like alternative reality but some how it is still the same country. Do you want to know about one little thing that strike me? Milk package!
Yes, they have different milk packages in Ontario. Usually that would be a sign of crossing the border, but not in Canada.
Different milk jars but still the same country – Canada place of wonders.
P.S. There is more to day 1 but I am still too overwhelmed to talk about it.
P.S.S. Comment from my friend – When I was coming of the plane they did not announced on the intercom that they have different milk jars in here, so they caught me of guard and I almost passed out. (Should I sue them? But Whom?)

Life is so unfair! ! !

2005-12-22T15:08:00.000-08:00

How hard can it be to go and get a haircut that you like?I went in and asked him just to trim me, but came out practically bold.Luckily my friends were supportive, but never the less it would be great if hairdressers would not have a sinful nature, or I would not be so obsessed with my hair.

P.S. If you ever wondered how do I look with a short hair, there is one more reason for you to look forward for next semester or whenever and wherever you will see me again.

Morning sunshine – rise and whine

2005-12-18T22:05:00.000-08:00

There is one thing that I do not like about people and it is when they whine about stuff without actually being able to verbalize what is rationally wrong so that I could help them. However, this is exactly how I feel now. I had a great day, church was awesome, later had relaxing afternoon watching movie with friends and doing some other things that I like, but somehow I feel yucky. It seems that if I will tell anybody things that bother me they will think that I am from another planet (and being a foreigner has nothing to do with it) and not liking whiners doesn’t help at all. So her I am in my shell and not even able to talk about it to my best friend. Any how this is the most of whining I can take of myself. THE END

Weather Forecast

2005-12-15T14:22:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I think that weather in Canada is crazy and this picture almost make sense.

Foreign guy is done with school!!!

2005-12-15T09:07:00.000-08:00

My last exam is today. This is what I am doing during this break. If you can keep me accountable and I will give you a dollar if I will fall short of my promise.
I will 1. Go to Ontario; 2. Read at least 4 books; 3. Hang out with my most favorite group of people; 4. At least 4 times go to the swimming pool; 5. Go to the movies at least twice; 6. Will not sleep in more then 3 times (sleep in - after 10 am)

Foreign Guy’s melancholy

2005-12-13T18:11:00.000-08:00

How do you know if somebody is your friend?

- He is feeling free to call you for no reason but just to talk

- You know that he is going to tolerated you singing, dancing or making a stupid joke

- BOTH of you love to spend more time together than you can

- You are proud to let others know that he is your friend

- Coming over to each other places is easy and natural

- He knows how to make you hospital room a fun place to be

- He is the first name that comes in to your mind when you want to tell some one that life is not fun

- You can talk about God, sex, feelings, movies, cars, sports and all comes easy

. . . and he feels about you the same way

(Or may be I just need to find a girlfriend?)

Canada report #16

2005-12-13T08:26:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it seams to me that Canadians are still living in the Wild, Wild West. At least 3 banks were robed this week in my city. Things like that have stopped in other worlds, but Canadians still want their sheriffs to get on their horses and chase the bad guys. So much for 21st century!

Foreign Guy Is Going To The Field Trip

2005-12-10T09:37:00.000-08:00

To progress the studies of this planet Foreign_guy is going to Thunder Bay (Ontario).
I do not know much about this mysterious place, but what is more interesting to me than real facts is what do you think and know about it. So if you would help me and leave a comment about the first thing that comes to you mind when you think of Thunder Bay it would make one more Foreign_guy happy.
I am so exited to go that I can hardly wait.

Canada report # 15

2005-12-09T12:31:00.000-08:00

There are couple people who take the same bus with me every morning. Today I was talking to one of them and told her that this is my last early morning ride this year. So we talk some more and before we went our own ways se said to me, “Happy holidays!”
Latter downtown I noticed the store that had a huge Santa on the window and big sing that said, “Seasonal greetings!” Canadians talk about holiday’s trees, winter holidays and other things around this time of year.
Even if you Canadians do not believe that Jesus is the Lord, why do you pretend that this celebration has nothing to do with this man? You remember people who died for the country in the war during Remembrance Day, but somehow you forget the man in whose name your country was started and for so many years run. It almost like on this planet people are ashamed of their history. I am not saying that you should pretend to belong to the religion you do not agree with. However I think it is hypocritical to pretend that this season is not about this weird Jew that changed the world forever.
I am aware that you all know this but you need to know that that is not happening everywhere yet this is the beginning of something scary and dark.

When you think you have seen it all ! ! ! !

2005-12-06T16:18:00.000-08:00

When you think that you have seen everything, you run in to something so bizarre and weird that you start to think that you are not the only one from another planet.
Today I was on the buss and there was this man sitting across from me. Totally average looking man; around 35, reading something, well dressed looked intelligent and as normal as it can get. Bet then before getting out of the buss he does something that totally freaked me out. (Possibly some of you will think that it is not a big deal).
From his pocked this man takes out something that looks like a handkerchief with a knot. He undid the knot. Inside this handkerchief he had his loose change. He takes out two loonies and slowly makes a knot again and puts handkerchief back in his pocket. I could not believe that someone still does it. Then he gets out of the buss and uses these two loonies to pay for a transit pass. Why? He just got out of the buss he could just ask for transfer. Anyhow – today was the day when I met another alien species. I wonder - how many of us is out there?

NOEL – what it is and what it is not?

2005-12-03T09:15:00.000-08:00

During the last week I have been trying to find out what is Noel. Canadians sing about it al lot and I was wondering what it means and even though most of them admit that they are not sure what it is this is what they told me.

Noel (according to my friends is):

1. Merry Christmas in French

2. Emanuel (In French as well)

3. Christmas (French again)

4. Christ (French once more)

5. King is born to Israel (This time in Latin)

6. The Messiah (In unknown language)

7. And so on!!!!

Noel (According to people who are smarter that me and my friends) is:

1. Christmas: period extending from Dec. 24 to Jan. 6

2. 2004 drama film, directed by Chazz Palminteri

3. An exposure level at which there are no statistically or biologically significant increases in the frequency or severity of any effect between the exposed population and its appropriate control

4. NOEL stands for No Observable Effect Level. (My personal favourite)

5. The dosage of a pesticide in chronic toxicity studies that results in no discernible harm to experimental animals.

6. Where the ice-cakes float loosely. (If you get it let me know http://www.20000-names.com/dictionary_micmac_02.htm)

Anomaly!!!

2005-12-02T15:14:00.000-08:00

For the last week I have been observing this unique spatial anomaly on the planet Canada. White crystallized water flakes (Canadians call it Snow) have been coming from the sky. It is everywhere on the streets, on the roofs on the rodes it is taking over the Canada, but Canadians do not seem to care.
If they will not start doing something about it according to my calculations in 3 weeks snow will be covering Canada with at least 3 meters thick wrap. Life will stop existing on this planet and everybody will die. But Canadians they are hoping that this is just gone go away itself like it is going to melt or something.
I am seriously considering evacuation. And this cold is also influencing my intellectual abilities; I hope it is not evident yet in this Captain’s Log.

Let us come up with idea how to save Canada!

Merry Christmas!

2005-12-01T17:04:00.000-08:00

People keep asking me if I am going home for Christmas, and every time it happens I need to verbalize thoughts that is like a black cloud over me. I am not gone see my family this Christmas. I am not going to play with my most wonderful nieces in the universe; I will not smell my mom baking; I will not be able to see the Christmas decorations that we made as a kids, I will not go and have a snow fight with my sister; I will not tease my brother for gaining weight every year.
I am not going home for Christmas!

I guess no matter how great it is here it will not be as great as it used to be.

Merry Christmas from Foreign Guy

Canada report # 14

2005-11-24T09:53:00.000-08:00

One thing that I find disturbing in Canada is the way toilets work.
Firth of all there is no doors. You just walk in and do your thing without even closing the doors behind you. It does make sense in a way that one might not want to touch a handle that was touched by many other people who might not believe in soap and water. But what about me feeling save from the attack of the ladies walking in?
Secondly every time I walk in to the bathroom I feel like in the museum of the inventions of the century. Every time I need to figure out how does this sink works, how do I get soap out of the thingy and how do I make towel appear from the box. I do not mind technology, but there are so many different kinds of it that simple visit to John makes me very nervous and anxious.

Canadians know how to use bathroom with style.

JONES KNOWS WHAT IT IS TALKONG ABOUT

2005-11-23T15:54:00.000-08:00

Today I had a bad day, and after I was done with my work I just collapse and had no energy to do anything. So I took from the fridge bottle of Jones and started to drink it lying on the couch. I was thinking that I wish it would be end of December already. Then I looked at the cap, you know how they have funny things written in them (almost like fortune cookie). Mine said, “Energy will abound next month.”
Sorry for not having some fun Canada reports, but hopefully “Energy will abound next month.”

P.S. And Mara No it is not an advertisement for Jones

People are funny

2005-11-22T12:00:00.000-08:00

I was thinking today, how people are weird in some ways. For example they like the front of the car, the middle of the rode but the end of the church.

This is what I think about tea

2005-11-21T09:07:00.000-08:00

I think that it is one of the best inventions on the world. If going to heaven would be a matter of deserving it, he who ever came up with idea of putting leaves in hot water would defiantly deserve to go there. I wonder if it is still possible for any of as to discover something that will change a world just like invention of tea. And I also wonder if tea inventor knew what a great deal it was. And I also wonder if someday we will be able to jump in to time machine and go back to thank him (actually I do not wonder about that).
Anyhow – guys try to enjoy today and may be something like tea will help you to do that.

HAVE A GRAT DAY!

Canada report # 13

2005-11-19T08:30:00.000-08:00

Mystery of Dominant Species

Humans only seem to be governing species of the planet Canada. Closer observations and studies of your faithful Foreign_guy show that it is not exactly accurate. If you notice people on busses, trains, cars and even on the streets have some sort of tails sticking out of their ears. Canadians in their ignorance believe that it is headphones, but I know that in reality brains of thousands Canadians are infected with another alien species – called Brainboomingmusicworm,

Top 5 ways to avoid infestation

5. Do not leave the house and lock yourself in the toilet

4. If you do need to leave take a friend along and talk to him

3. Read the book while you are close to other infected people

2. Under no circumstances start conversation about favorite style of music

1. And never, never, never let Brainboomingmusicworm come close to you hearing organ

Protect your planet do not get infected!

Canada report # 12

2005-11-18T11:43:00.000-08:00

Bagel – the best thing I tried in Canada!
Toasted with cream cheese they are the best thing first thing in the morning. For those of you who do not know what it is - on our planet we would refer to it as soft baranka, only here it is bigger and way better. Not many Canadians know that this is Jewish invention (as many other great things in this world). But guys think about this little delicious miracle; isn’t it great that we have little things like that in our life.

LIFE IS GOOD!!!!

Canada report # 11

2005-11-16T09:27:00.000-08:00

This morning on the bus I noticed an advertisement that was very though provoking. It was one of those dating agencies. It said some thing like, “Meet someone your friends haven’t dated.” It almost seems that in North America (and it could be in western culture in general) people are dating not for the reason to find The One companion of life.
On one TV show dad said to his son, “She is ok for the starter girlfriend.” It seems to me that Canadians are afraid of commitment or could it have something to do with desire to receive in stead of giving? “As long as she gives me what I need we will be together” – kind of thinking.

Canada report # 10

2005-11-15T13:54:00.000-08:00

Canadian politics – I don’t know much about it, but this morning I was almost laughing out loud.
They want to get rid of liberals in the government, but the problem they have about it is, guess what. It is Christmas shopping time, which is not a good time for political events. They were talking about how they should let the government that they do not trust and do not like still rule over them just so that their Christmas shopping and party time would be more fun.
Good time to be a jerk in charge, don’t you think so? But as I told you before I do not know much about politics of Canada.

Being an alien is fun!

2005-11-14T13:47:00.000-08:00

Being an alien is fun. You have an excuse to ask stupid question and people will not question you sanity. When people look at me weird I just mumble something like, “It’s a language barrier!” or “How do I know how you Canadians do that?”

But at the same time it gives interesting inside in to things. It is fun to hear Canadians try to explain things like vegetable dip, green bananas, red poppies, lack of interest in international news, fascination with royal family and goofy behavior of Quebec.

Yes it is fun to be an alien, and space ship helps to pick up a dates not speaking about the accent of cause.

Canada report # 9

2005-11-12T14:37:00.000-08:00

There are interesting relationship going on between Canadians and Americans. It is almost like marriage – they live together, share resources, but at the same time they do not, they love each other, but also say dreadful things about each other. There is something funny going on there, but I should examine it more later, but for now, this is the fragment of the letter that one of my good friends (American) wrote me a couple of days ago.

Dude! I read your blog and yes canadians suck. Everyone knows that, stop telling everyone crap we already know; only joking. Any way ….

P.S. My dear Canadian friends – does any of the things that I said in this blog was ever offensive?

Canada report # 8

2005-11-10T10:09:00.000-08:00

Canadians are stepping over the line!
Food is something that one should never mess with, but those Canadians do.
Last night my friend and I were talking about food and out of no were “lets go for breakfast” idea came up. 10:30 PM ?????
Canada – country were they serve breakfast 24/7

Canada report # 7

2005-11-08T20:09:00.000-08:00

What’s with all the vinegar?

They put it on practically everything. Vinegar chips, vinegar crackers, vinegar with ham vinegar with beef even VINEGAR CANDY.

Today when I was buying can of sardines in the Safeway one man in the line behind me said, “Are you gone eat your sardines with salt and vinegar, because this is how I like them the most.”

Vinegar is just pure acid (In my world at least), but

Canadians sure like it.

Canada report # 6

2005-11-06T19:11:00.000-08:00

One thing that I noticed that has changed in me since I came to Canada is this pressure that I am feeling. (By the way just now one of my fiends came or flew in to the room covered in blanket and whisper in spooky voice, “I am a vampire, and you do not see me!” I love that guy!) Anyway back to the point. I am feeling the pressure to get a good job, to get a car, to get a degree to earn a lot of money. I did not want these things before, but now I feel that I should. Canadians talk about they future more than people in my country, and when they talk about that they talk about stuff they could have and do for fun. I am getting less and less interested in things I could do for God or what kind of ministry I could do, I am more and more concerned about the ways I can secure my future and the ways I could get out of it. I do not like that at all.
But on the other hand it is not that bad at all. If you have more tangible goals you are going for it is easier actually reach them. People who know what they want will get what they work for.
Canadians – People with goals that sometimes turn into stuff.

Canada report # 5

2005-11-05T08:16:00.000-08:00

I have a problem with Canadians
You get to know one of them and start spending time with that person, and In my mind it is, "Hey, we will be a good friends!" But then latter out of no where that person does or says something that sounds to me like, "Hey, I was just being polite and have no intention to be your fiend." It is easier to read people in Eastern Europe, because people are colder to you unless they really want to be your friends. I do not know when can I trust people for friendship. How do you people do that? How do you know that this person really wants to be your friend but not just wants to be friendly? I am confused. Or may be I am expecting too much? Yes this is what is on my mind lately. I guess that means that I am starting to feel lonely or something.

Canadians - people it is great to be friends with

P.S. Things that I said here are not about all of you. Some of you are just great friends and I love you guys.

I give up…

2005-11-03T15:51:00.000-08:00

Do you know what is the biggest difference between you and God?
God does not think that he is you.

I had a dream

2005-11-01T16:36:00.000-08:00

This is how it goes; my two great friends and I are working one night very late. But we have tickets to concert or play that night, but I being an idiot start fooling around and out of nowhere decided to burn these tickets. Nevertheless, once I am done I feel so bad about that. But my friend is mad about that, he is so determined to go to concert anyway. Then he says that he is gone buy tickets to all three of us again. I am trying to talk him out of that, but he is not giving up. Than I make a point that we need to work tonight and just leaving work would not be such a great idea, but he insist that we should close this thing (whatever work was I do not remember) and just go. And that we do. [then I have a blank] After the concert I am in trouble from my boss from leaving the job.

Dream interpreters – let me know what is the diagnose

Canada report # 4

2005-10-31T16:35:00.000-08:00

Canadians - their kids turn in to adults but adults turn in to kids (at least once a year)
Halloween is the most bizarre Canadian holiday I know (maybe Labor day could be an exception, because how do you celebrate labor day, by not working? But some other time about that)
So on Halloween kids become so seriously obsessed with the plans of dressing up and impressing others that you would have a hard time believing that they are still kids. They prepare for this night like entire destiny of human kinds depends of the outcome of this candy hunt. Even if they do not like candy they will still strive to get a lots of this sweet currency. "Trick or treat" becomes the national anthem of the entire population of these little creatures. The invasion begins and the day of the rule of these little monsters begins. Finally they look exactly who they are or who they want to become.
However most amusing is to observe the adults. Some become more obsessed about camouflaging their children then children themselfs. Secrets of unfulfilled childhood dreams are coming out and excitement grows in eager expectation to hear this magical, "Trick or treat!"
Even those who do not like this holiday do no like it with passion worthy to be nominated as the prepuberty attitude of the year.
Anyhow, being an alien, it is most amusing and yet almost sad to observe all this lunatic madness. Sad not for them, but sad for me not being infected by this mysterious sickness called Halloween.
Canadians - one night a year they are out of this world.

Halloween costume idea – inspired by Calgary Herald

2005-10-29T09:10:00.000-07:00

This is what you do.
Paint spray yourself all black and call it the Black Hole costume. If somebody says that your costume sucks, hey it means that it is working.

Do you have any great ideas?

Canada report # 3

2005-10-28T13:01:00.000-07:00

Canadians - people of contradictions
They talk a lot about being healthy, however they eat unhealthy and do not exercise (not many of them at least).
They are very friendly yet very lonely.
Their know how to smile yet they keep doing it even when they do not feel like it.
They ask, "How are you doing?", but would not stop and listen to my "I am fine."
They are proud to be a Canadians and not patriotic at the same time.
They know how to say "no", but still would take time to help you.
They are mature and jet so silly.
Canadians - they drive me craze but it is impossible not to love them.

Canada report # 2

2005-10-27T14:53:00.000-07:00

Canadians – people with the compass.
Couple days ago I was rereading my job descriptions. It said, “…place remaining chairs at the west wall.” How do I know which is the west wall? All direction that Canadians give has something to do with west, north, south or east. The locations in the mall, the direction of the buses, the way they describe were they are. How can one always know which way is the north? I think that they can read stars even in the middle of the day. No country in Europe that I know of does it. Once somebody asked me if this buss goes south or west, I had to think for a very long time. I think that person still thinks that I was on drugs.
Canadians – people of supernatural sense of direction.

Thanks,

2005-10-25T15:52:00.001-07:00

Today I was contemplating on me being so happy. Why is my life at this period of existence so great? Certainly I am blest by God, but which blessings make the most difference? I think it is you my friends. School, church, work and life in general are much better if there are such a great people around as you guys. Thank you so much! I hope I can be at least a part of this blessing for you as you are for me.

Canada report # 1

2005-10-24T16:02:00.000-07:00

Canadians – nation of many faces, habits and attitudes, some of them nice and sweet but some just hard to understand. Today, for example, I came to college with tie. Most of Canadians noticed (which is not a bad thing), however many ask for occasion, some even laugh. Why does one needs to have an occasion to wear a tie? I do not think that they have noticed how casual they have become. It is not a bad thing to be able to be casual, but is it good if proper closing becomes inappropriate? I was raised with a knowledge that one day every mature adult man will have to wear a tie and weather I liked to do that or not sooner or later I will have to accept it. It is ok in Canada to for guys to come to college in pink pans, and pyjama, but if one shows up wearing tie, people do not understand it. Is it wrong to like to dress up, even if I do not have an occasion? Friends, next time I will decide to wear a tie, please ignore it, and by doing that you will help me feeling more at home.